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Several years ago, while soliciting support for the Philadelphia AIDS Walk, I was struck by a woman whose question seemed at the heart of the problem: "Why should I donate money to a bunch of fags, whores, and drug addicts? They did it to themselves; let them suffer." Indeed, when considered against the fact that HIV is entirely preventable much of the time (though that wasn't always the case), this is a difficult argument to battle with. As a friend casually mentioned, "She brings up a good point."


Of course, the first response is that not all victims of the disease "did it to themselves". There have been cheats and rapes and blood transfusions and babies and a thousand different scenarios that dedicedly lay the blame in someone else's hands. However, when it comes to cash, people are not as motivated by the 'exceptions' as they are by the rules.

I could argue for common decency and human rights, for compassion and forgiveness and civility--but this position does little more than fall on deaf ears. Even the most compassionate person draws the line when they can more easily lay blame and alleviate their own distant guilt. I could even appeal to religion, faith, God--karma--but to what end? Reminding people of their own failings rarely inspires support.

I could become combative--indignant. I could list any number of horrible side effects, show pictures of wasting, appeal to sentimental tripe like Angels in American, And the Band Played On, or the classic: Philadelphia. I could cite statistics that prove it's not actually a bunch of "fags, whores, and drug addicts" who contract HIV anymore, but young women and minorities, those who are destitute, and the uneducated--namely the people my country prides itself on trying to protect (when, in reality, they are the ones we most forget)--but that would accomplish very little past pissing someone off.

And really, most of this would be meaningless coming from me. After all, I am HIV positive. I must be one of them.

I could tell my own story--appeal to every emotional cheapshot I know--but while it would put another fifty dollars on my form, it wouldn't solve the problem (and it'd make me feel like a prostitute).

So what, then, do I do with this woman? With the hundreds of thousands (millions, maybe) like her?

"You shouldn't," I said honestly, "if that's how you feel."

"Well it is," she quipped as she slammed the door. It hardly mattered, as I was halfway down the drive.


I cannot change minds that do not want to be changed. I cannot create an experience that transcends years of false information, wicked stereotypes, or unjust impressions. I can't defend an entire race or group, a medical community, or a cause that many people feel is unworthy of respect. I can only appeal, with a sense of sincerity, to someone's wallet and hope they understand--if not who, what, when, and where--at least why.

I do not believe there will be a cure for AIDS in my lifetime, if at all. I believe in the possibility of an immunization, though I do not believe it is likely to be effective before I die. But I believe in second chances, and I believe in education, and I believe that charitable money is best spent in pursuit of those two things.

I also believe that the only reason I'm alive is due to the generosity of people who understood and donated and assured that tax dollars would not have to be 'wasted' on my medical care or prescriptions (upwards of $5,000 a month), who made sure specialists were in place to guide me through the various stages of this disease, and who gave me hope that time, money, and energy would be spent educating others so that they would never have to suffer what I have.

I am not here to convince you that you should donate to my 'cause'. I am not here to change your mind or misconceptions. But if you understand why, then I hope you will.

*PotterShareCares's Many Plans
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For more information about HIV and AIDS, please check the following links:

AIDS.org
Center for Disease Control and Prevention HIV/AIDS Fact Sheet
U.S. CDC HIV/AIDS prevention
National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (7 February 2008)
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: HIV/AIDS Days
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services AIDSinfo
National Latino AIDS Awareness Day (15 October 2007)
AIDS/HIV Awareness.org
CBS Cares: HIV
amfAR: The Foundation for AIDS Research
Avert.org: World AIDS DAY (1 December 2007)
The AIDS Memorial Quilt (The NAMES Project Foundation)
UNAIDS: The Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS
NetAid (an initiative of Mercy Corps): ACT NOW: HIV/AIDS
Red Ribbon Foundation
KidsHealth.org: HIV and AIDS
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, NIAID/NIH
The Office of Minority Health: Minority HIV/AIDS Initiative
United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (SAAC): HIV/AIDS Awareness in the African American Community
National Catholic AIDS Network
What Does the Catholic Church Say About HIV/AIDS?

^{My name is Bill, and I am a punctuation junkie. Please click the link for a list of my pet peeves (and for some idea of what I look for when I first critique your work).}